me
mor
emmie
ah peng
lucas di
elsia mei
amanda jie
evelyn
enling
mervyn
mel
michelle
claudia
david
von
izumi
huiting
wenjie
sherlyn
grace yeoh
weini
soon beng
siqi
amanda
kor kor
rooney
kerriann
althea
drey
con
danna
maria
melfie
swee kee
xin an
brandon
xinyi
stephanie
joyce
mr mok
qi an
ren an
bEnjaMin
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Monday, July 28, 2008
@ 9:16 PMdeath hmm and now on a more serious note.. came home later than usual from school today. when I reached home, mummy was preparing to go attend a funeral. Before I bathed, mummy and i suddenly started talking about death. Death is something most people fear, something they dread but for Christians, it is eternal bliss. Told mummy how nice it is when i think about death at times, thinking how when i first open my eyes in heaven, I'll be standing right before my God. What a joyous thought! but then again, thinking about how people on earth will be crying over the loss of a loved one, it just makes death seem so hostile. death, an occasion that can make people both happy and sad, at times feels like such an irony. I vividly recall not too long ago, staring at the calendar on my desk in front of me. it was my grandma's birthday, my grandma whom I was once so close to. The day came and went just like any other, I just felt like something was missing. I couldnt bring myself to start on my work, i just sat there and thought to myself if it was really necessary that my grandma be put in a nursing home 'cos she's suffering from dementia. I didnt like it thinking about how much i've drifted from her. Told mummy about all these while we were talking and she told me it's really not easy on the caregiver which i totally agree, esp when they have families of their own to care for. sleepless nights, physical and mental fatigue.. it really isnt easy. Staring at the calendar that day i made up my mind, no matter what happens to my mum, i would never wanna put her in a nursing home. Ultimately, the question is: is it possible? is that what's best? well.. quite a while more and i shall wait patiently and see as God prepares me for the road that lies ahead of me. |
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